Toy Versus Game

There is a fine line between a toy and a game. If you don't think so, look inside the mind of a child and inside the following article. It may just change how you think about what exactly is a toy.

What's the difference? To a little kid, probably not much. And with games that you only need one person to play, such as solitaire, the distinction can be a very fine one. How many of us have heard our mothers yell at us to "put our toys away" and what's in front of use is a chess set that we used to play war with. Kids have wild imaginations. Has that chess set just become a toy?

In most cases there is a very big difference between what is a toy and what is a game, at least according to our adult minds. But in the hands of a child, either one can be, well, either one.

Dominoes is a great game for two people. There is quite a bit of strategy involved in putting out just the right piece so as to block your opponent from being able to do anything and thus forcing him to pick up a domino. But did you ever see those things in the hands of a small child who's stringing them along the floor in what is turning into a maze of wonders. With the number of dominoes in a set, the number of different mazes that child can make is virtually without limit. So go and tell him that his bunch of dominoes are not toys.

Getting back to our chess example. We all know that a game of chess is one of the most complex games of thought ever created and it takes a superior mind to play well. But did you ever see a kid set up a chess board and start to move the two armies towards each other? As the pawns approach and get within striking distance you're only seconds away from seeing pieces fly all over the place. And so see the knight get up on top of the castle (isn't that what knights do)? and start firing arrows or swords at the opposing bishop is a sight to be seen. And then finally, to see the cat fight between the two queens as the kings stand by and watch is like watching the battle of the titans. Chess pieces can be great toys. And if you've got those new chess pieces that are designed after popular movie characters like Star Wars or Lord Of The Rings, well, who needs real toys?

Take a simple game of cards and it doesn't matter which card game you choose. Did you ever see a kid start to fling those things around the room? They make great projectiles and if you're not careful as an adult passing by, those cards can easily take out an eye. Not to mention the great card castles that you can make. Heck, we all do it. And don't think they're so easy. Kids seem to have a gift when it comes to that stuff.

The truth is, just about any game can be taken apart and turned into a toy. But for the sake of the remainder of articles in this series, we're going to concentrate on toys that were not meant to be made into games.

Not to say they don't ultimately end up as one.

Michael Russell Your Independent guide to Toys

Lego

If you're relatively young, Lego is this elaborate collection of toys that you could make just about anything from. The kits that are available today are just mind boggling. But it wasn't always like that. There was a time when Lego didn't have sets. They were just a bunch of blocks that you put together any way you liked. As a matter of fact, Lego goes a lot farther back than most people realize.

Even though Lego technically came into being in 1916, the first Lego toys were not made until 1932. Their first toys were cars, trucks and piggy banks. They were nothing like what we're used to today. The actual Lego name wasn't official until 1934. It came from a Danish phrase that meant "play well". The founder of Lego, Kirk Christiansen, was known as a very kind hearted man who wanted to make toys that poorer children could afford. This was the main reason that he even went into the business.

The first Lego building brick toys that we're familiar with today weren't made until 1947. One of the first of these toys was a truck that you could put together and then take apart to put back together again. The bricks snapped together. The blocks were made out of cellulose acetate as opposed to the common wooden bricks that most other toys were made from. In 1953 these bricks were given the official name "Lego Bricks".

In the 1950s the bricks were improved upon because the ability of the blocks to lock together was limited. Hollow tubes were added to the underside of the bricks to help them lock together a little better. This also added some much needed support to these bricks. Finally, in 1958, Christiansen died. The company almost died with him. But his partner decided to go on and continue to run the company. Otherwise this may have been the end of Lego.

In the 1960s we were given the first Lego wheels that could be added to the cars and trucks. Before these wheels were created the car and truck tires were blocks, just like the rest of the vehicle. During that time, Lego started to make toys that were targeted to preschoolers. This line went over very well with the kids. Finally in 1963, the blocks were made out of ABS plastic and are still made from this plastic even today. Then in 1964, for the very first time, instruction manuals were provided for their toys.

In 1969 an offshoot of Lego, the Duplo system, can to be. These blocks were much bigger than the Lego blocks, which made them safer for young children, the main reason they were made in the first place. However, even though the Duplo system was made for small kids, the two systems are compatible with each other and can be mixed together.

Over the next 30 plus years, the Lego system became very elaborate. Whole kits depicting various scenes could be bought and put together such as the 1988 model of London, the 1989 Pirate series and more recently, the Knights Kingdom in 2004.

Today, Lego is one of the largest manufacturers of children's toys in the whole world. And just think, it all started from a bunch of plastic blocks.

Michael Russell Your Independent guide to Toys

Play-Doh

2A can of...Well, nobody's really sure what Play-Doh is as its composition is a very closely guarded secret. As a matter of fact, Play-Doh was originally invented to be a wallpaper cleaner and even has a patent for this use. The patent number is U.S. Patent 3,167,440. It was granted to Noah McVicker and Joseph McVicker. Ultimately, these two men realized that they could make more money selling this stuff as a toy than as a wallpaper cleaner. So in 1956 they created Rainbow Crafts to sell their new product.

The thing that most people liked about Play-Doh was that it was non toxic. You could actually eat this stuff and not get sick. The salty taste may not be very appealing but it was certainly not going to kill you. And believe it or not, kids did try to eat this stuff. Drove their parents absolutely up a wall.

Play-Doh was one of the first toys to make its way into schools and daycare centers. It was a simple enough toy that kids could play with and not need a lot of supervision and was versatile enough that you were limited only by your imagination as to what you could actually do with the stuff, which basically came in can and in a variety of colors. Since all the colors were still made of the same substance, you could mix them together with no problem. Of course after doing this it was hard to get each color back into its own can.

The year 1960 was a very big year for Play-Doh because this was the year that the company came up with its first mascot, Play-Doh Pete. The original drawing of this cute little boy had him wearing a smock and a beret. Later on the beret was replaced by a backwards baseball cap. The mascot was put on every single can of Play-Doh that was sold and became as well known as the toy itself.

Also in 1960 the first Play-Doh accessory was created. This was the extremely popular Play-Doh Fun Factory. The Fun Factory was basically a device that you pushed the Play-Doh through to make all kinds of different shapes such as stars, circles and squares. You could chop up these shapes and serve them as food to the kid's dolls. But the Fun Factory wasn't the end of the Play-Doh accessories.

Play-Doh next came out with the Fuzzy Pumper Barber and Beauty Shop. After that they came out with Dr, Drill N Fill. These were all plastic molds. The barber shop was rather unique for its time. The Play-Doh was pushed through this plastic head that made it look like hair. You then took these plastic scissors to cut the hair and style it. Very clever stuff for the 60s.

Eventually, Play-Doh was taken over by Hasbro and they came out with a ton of food preparation machines as that was where things seemed to be going at the time. Everybody wanted to cook. Around this time you also saw things like Suzy Bake Oven and Creepy Crawlers food molds.

But with all the fancy accessories, most kids are just happy to take the stuff out of the can and run their hands through it.

Sometimes, simple is the best.

Michael Russell Your Independent guide to Toys

The Yo-Yo

The yo-yo. It may not be as popular as it was 40 years ago, but you can still get yourself a pretty decent one if you look hard enough. But how did the yo-yo craze get started? For that matter, when was the first yo-yo made?

The truth is, nobody really knows where the yo-yo came from. There are some who say that the yo-yo originated in China. But the first time the yo-yo was ever mentioned was in Greece around 500 BC. The old yo-yos were made out of various materials like wood and metal. Supposedly, when a kid got to be a certain age he was supposed to offer up his yo-yos to the gods.

The modern day yo-yo didn't actually come to be until the 1920s when a guy by the name of Pedro Flores brought one to the United States from the Philippines. In 1928 he began a toy company in California to start making them. His first yo-yos were very unique in that instead of having the string tied to the axle, the string was wrapped around the axle. This made it so that the yo-yo could hang, or what they called "sleep" at the end of the rope.

A year later, a guy by the name of Donald Duncan saw this yo-yo and was fascinated by it. Because Pedro was able to do quite a few tricks with his yo-yo, he drew large crowds by putting on exhibitions. Duncan saw this as a big money maker. So, not only did Duncan purchase the idea of the yo-yo but he bought the company from Flores himself. You know the rest of what happened.

Duncan yo-yos became a monster of a company. In 1946 they moved to Luck, Wisconsin, which became known as the yo-yo capital of the world. They were producing yo-yos there at an alarming rate of over 3,600 per hour. Back in the 40s the yo-yos were made out of wood, but when the 1960s rolled around they started making them out of a very hard plastic.

The early yo-yos were still pretty simple looking. Still, by 1962 over 45 million of these yo-yos were sold. That's not bad considering the country had only 40 million children at the time. Some kids were buying two or three different yo-yos. And that number began to increase when Duncan started making different styles of yo-yos.

But then the legal battles began. The Duncan trademark of the word "yo-yo" was being fought against. The word had become the toy itself. Well, finally, Duncan lost their battle with the courts and in 1965 Duncan was driven into bankruptcy. The Duncan name itself was purchased by Flambeau Plastics.

In spite of this, the yo-yo became more popular than ever. Yo-yo tournaments were being held all over the world. New tricks were being thought of including the popular "walk the dog". There were even more styles of yo-yos than ever before. And then finally, on April 12, 1985, the yo-yo was taken into space.

The yo-yo may have lost some steam over the years, but it is still one of the most popular toys to have ever been made.

Michael Russell Your Independent guide to Toys

Toys - Tonka

Tonka Toys. Even the name sounds tough. And make no mistake about it. Tonka toys were tough, especially back in the good old days when toys were made to last, or as they would say in their TV commercials, "They're made Tonka tough". Yes, every tough kid had to have his Tonka truck. So when did this all start? How long has Tonka been cranking out these tough trucks?

Tonka started in 1947. The first trucks were made by a company called Mound Metalcraft. The company was located in Mound, Minnesota in a very small warehouse. No, this wasn't what you would call a big business when it began. The company itself actually specialized in manufacturing garden tools, which had to be tough. Taking that some technology and approach, they began making some of the toughest trucks ever put together.

In their first year alone, Mound Metalcraft manufactured over 37,000 of these tough trucks. This in spite of the fact that they only had two designs. The two designs were a steam shovel and a crane. Oh and in case you're wondering, the word Tonka means "great" in Sioux.

After World War II Tonka trucks became very popular with post war families. The demand for these trucks was so great that it far outweighed production. A year of the company's inventory would be sold out in just a few months.

The whole premise of the Tonka company and one that they refused to ever compromise on, was that their toys should be durable and give your child as much play time as possible out of them. They felt that there was no reason their toys shouldn't last for many years. And they did.

In the almost 60 years since the first Tonka toys were made, over 250 million of them have been sold. To this day, their vehicles are made to withstand just about anything you can throw at them. What began as just two trucks has grown into a whole line of trucks and playsets.

Over the years there have been some milestones in the Tonka legacy. It took over 17 years since their first truck, but in 1964 the most popular truck that they ever made, the Mighty Dump, came into existence. No truck of theirs ever sold more units. Between 1965 and 1972 was what was called the "Mighty Age". This is when the Tonka Mighty Series grew tremendously, giving us titles like the Mighty Clam, Crane, Shovel, Scraper, Car Carrier, Bulldozer, Wrecker, Hydraulic Dump, Roller, Bottom Dump, Mixer, Loadmaster and Grader. These were some of the most popular trucks ever.

Between 1973 and 1982 Tonka added more vehicle categories. This period of time gave us the Rescue Vehicle, Car Carrier, Forklift, Earth Mover, Adventure Buggy and, believe it or not, the Mighty Winnebago.

Over the next 25 years Tonka continued to produce quality products and new additions such as Chuck My Talking Truck, the first talking Tonka Toy.

Tonka promises to come out with trucks that are even tougher than the ones made almost 60 years ago.

That is going to be a tough act to follow.

Michael Russell Your Independent guide to Toys

Tinkertoys

It was certainly a different idea. Take a wheel, drill a bunch of holes around the whole wheel and then stick a bunch of sticks into the wheel. Yes, it was different all right. But would it sell? Well, if you know anything about Tinkertoys you already know the answer to that. But, if not, then you might want to read a brief history of one of the most famous toys ever made.

Tinker Toys was the brain child of Charles H. Pajeau and Robert Pettit. These guys met while on a train going to work in Chicago. Talk about your chance encounter. Charles was a stone mason and Robert was a trader. They both hated their jobs. It was this one thing that they had in common that brought them together. All they needed was some inspiration.

The inspiration came to Pajeau when he was watching some young children play with regular pencils and spools of thread. He watched as they stuck the pencils into the spools and then found other items around the house to mix in with them. He noticed how they could spend hours taking apart and putting together the same parts over and over. So Pajeau decided and Petit agreed, to put together a construction set made simply out of sticks and spools, just like the thread and pencils that the kids were using.

Tinker Toys were made.

The design was simple. Charles took a spool, drilled eight holes around it and one in the center that would be for the purpose of making it a cornerstone piece. The design was based on the Pythagorean Principal of the progressive right triangle. As a stone mason, Charles knew these things and ultimately helped him in the construction of the toy itself.

Well, these two new toymakers knew that they had a hit on their hands. They decided to start their own toy company which they named "The Toy Tinkers". They named it as such because basically what they did was tinker with things until they came up with what they were looking for. Since the toy they made inspired kids to do the same thing, they named their first toy "The Tinkertoy".

Unfortunately, they didn't find a lot of people who were interested in their new toy, mostly because there were so many toys already out on the market. So in an effort to attract customers they set up displays at toy stores in the Chicago area. Well, the displays were so successful that soon the demand for these toys was greater than the supply.

What followed over the next 90 years is pretty much history. Tinkertoys became a huge hit with young children because of their simplistic design and the infinite things that you could do with that design. The company itself stayed pretty much the same until it was sold to Hasbro in 1986. The wood pieces were replaced with plastic, but the concept was the same. But in 2000 the wood pieces came back and Tinkertoys returned to their roots.

Michael Russell Your Independent guide to Toys

Toys - Guns And Not So Roses

Throughout the history of toys there has always been a category of toys that have gotten plenty of heat from parents and educators. Guns. Back in the 60s there were more kinds of guns and gun sets sold as toys than you can possibly imagine. Think we're kidding? Take a look at some of the more popular of these sets that parents have had to contend with over the years.

In the early 60s there was a show by the name of Combat. Vic Morrow was so convincing as Sergeant Saunders that every kid wanted to be him. The toy companies cashed in on this. One of the most popular toy sets of the early 60s was the Combat toy set. It was simple enough. It came with Saunders Thompson Machine Gun, his 45 caliber pistol, a hand grenade and his helmet. Instant Saunders and the kids ate it up while parents cringed.

War wasn't the only theme of gun sets back in the early 60s. There was another show called "The Man From Uncle". This show stared Robert Vaughn and David McCullem as two secret agents. The show was so popular that it too brought about some pretty cool toys. You could get the Man From Uncle gun, security badges and other gadgets that the show made popular. This was another big hit with the kids of the time.

Need a little more fire power? No problem. There was a gun made in Japan during the late 60s that became very popular and was one of the most realistic looking and sounding guns ever made at the time. This was the Heavy Machine Gun. It had a really loud rat-tat-tat sound when you fired it that could scare the heck out of anyone within hearing distance. The ammunition belt rotated around and around to make it look like you were really firing bullets. And to top it off, the barrel lighted up when you fired it. One of the most realistic guns ever made and a kid favorite.

Later on, in the 1970s, another popular gun came out. It was called Friction Sparkling M-16. This was a 21 inch rapid firing machine gun. When you pulled the bolt back and fired, similar to the Combat Thompson, it made a very realistic sound. You could also see a bunch of sparks coming out of the barrel. The gun was rather light weight but it was very realistic looking and another kid favorite.

Of course, with the war in Vietnam, toy makers weren't going to miss cashing in on it. In the 1960s they came out with the Cong Buster Jungle Gun Set. This set came with a 45 caliber squirt gun and a canteen. The gun and canteen were both made of very hard plastic and could withstand just about anything.

These few guns don't even scratch the surface of the number of guns and gun sets that came out in the 60s and 70s. If you'd like to find out more about these vintage guns, don't worry. Another installment in this series is coming.

Michael Russell Your Independent guide to Toys

Toys - Guns Of The Old West

In the 1970s, John Denver recorded a song called "I'd Rather Be A Cowboy". Well, long before that song came out, kids were pretending to be cowboys with a vengeance. And to meet that need and desire, toy companies came out with quite a number of toy guns and accessories for the young cowpoke. We'll take a look at just a few of the hundreds of western guns and sets you could get, 40 or 50 years ago.

Let's face it. Old west guns were just so cool. Nothing else looks like them and the care that was used to make replicas of these guns by many of the manufacturers was nothing short of amazing. Some of these rifles and pistols were so realistic looking that you couldn't tell them apart from their real counterparts.

One of the most popular of these rifles was the M1865 Remington Rifle. This was no light weight gun. It was 44 inches long and weighed five pounds. This was a replica of the very first cartridge firing system, rolling block sporting rifle. This was a very realistic looking gun and quite durable, made of very hard wood.

Want to shoot more than one bullet without having to reload? No problem. You also had the M1850 Revolving Musket. This was a replica of the six shot infantry rifle of the era. It was built with a revolving cylinder firing system that was very realistic. The gun was 42 inches long and weighed 5.5 pounds. It was also made out of very hard wood.

Looking for a lever action rifle? There were plenty of them too. One of them was the 1882 Lever Action Carbine. The gun is 37 inches long and weighs 5.5 pounds. The gun was known as the "Little 86" because of its very fast action. The gun is made out of wood and has a real working lever. This was probably the most popular model of western gun during the time it came out.

If you wanted something from the Civil War, you could get that too. There was the 1860 Enfield Civil War Musketoon. The gun was 40 inches long and weighed 5 pounds. The percussion lock is stamped by the London Armory with the Royal Crown. It's a two band musketoon. This is an actual replica of the gun they used to fight in the US Civil War.

If you wanted something a little smaller than a rifle, you could get them too. Back in the 1950s, there was a pair of six shooters that came out that were sold under the title "Western Man" made by Roth American Inc. The guns shot roll caps, which were very popular in the 60s and 70s. Today, it's almost impossible to find these caps. The set came with two guns. Both had pearl handles and metal barrels and each one had its own holster. These were without any doubt the most popular six shooters made during the time. The roll caps made quite a loud noise and aided to make these guns very realistic sounding to add to their realistic look.

These guns only scratch the surface of the number of western guns that had come out during the time. Yes, John Denver was so right. Kids would rather be cowboys.

Michael Russell Your Independent guide to Toys

Second Grade Reading Activity

When looking for a kindergarten, first, or second grade reading activity, the first point to accomplish is to find books that you will both enjoy reading and listening to. Check with other friends or even family members that perhaps have children that are a bit older and ask them what their favorites turned out to be. When you're in the library with your child make note of the sections or types of books they seem to gravitate to. Do some quick research and see what books are rated high by professional educators.

The second grade reading level is just about that age where the child is beginning to transfer from big letters and lots of descriptive pictures, to a bit more sentence and vocabulary building. Repetition, practice and exposure to reading is always important, but at the second grade level it is really accentuated for this very reason.

Work to constantly to encourage your second grader to be able to grasp and understand the longer more complex sentences by offering a few questions for them to answer at the end of their reading time. This will give you valuable feed back as to the pace at which you are moving them forward. If you find your child getting off track or struggling, take a step back, repeat an earlier book and gain some more practice and confidence... don't move forward with a frustration level building.

It also about this age level that you want to begin to introduce some timed readings as part of your second grade reading activities. You can begin rather innocuously, by monitoring how far your give gets over a given time without them actually aware of timed reading. This block of time should be followed up by you with some general questions and getting your child to tell the story back to you. As your child progresses it is also at this age that you want to continue to work on the child's speed and their fluency in their reading. Remember keep a steady pace on their reading progress, introducing gradual levels of complexity, monitor their understanding with some simple questions and dialog, begin to work on speed with some timed reading and comprehension activities. And always make time for fun family reading and family games that require reading and vocabulary building.

Mary Joyce is a former educator, successful homeschool parent, and the primary contributor to the Homeschool-Curriculum-4u website. Please visit (http://www.homeschool-curriculum-4u.com) for a complete list of Mary's articles, resources on homeschool, ideas, and curriculum information. Also tips guides and how-to's to help you successfully teach your child at home.

Phonics Lesson Plans For Your Child

Phonics lesson plans are the foundation by which you can be better prepared to help your child to begin to learn to read. You must be prepared in order to make the most of your time together and to make the most of your child's attention span. With an early introduction to phonics, you are giving your child a head start on a lifetime of literacy.

A lesson plan must be created with the goal of teaching your child the 44 sounds and the 43 phonics rules of the English language and how to appropriately apply them. The question is what lesson plan will most effectively accomplish this task?

There are numerous websites available that will provide you with sample lesson plans for phonics instruction; however, in this article let's talk about what you should look for in a strong lesson plan. With just a bit of planning, you can help teach your child to become an accomplished and confident reader.

When evaluating any lesson plan, there are several items to consider. Ask yourself these questions. Is the plan creative, interactive and supportive of the early reader's efforts? Does the lesson plan utilize a variety of methods, such as textual, visual, audio, etc, to teach the concepts of phonics? Are there multiple opportunities in the lesson for your child to learn, practice, play and repeat what they have learned? It is through hearing and seeing the reading concepts in a variety of ways that your child will conceptualize and then utilize their newfound knowledge.

When our children were early readers, we utilized a lesson plan in which we created personalized booklets together. After we selected the letter we were going to study for the week, we cut the letter out of brightly colored card stock paper. We then made a small booklet by choosing several sheets of standard size card stock paper and stapling them together in the upper left corner. On the front page, we glued the letter for the week. Throughout the week, we looked through old magazines and selected pictures of items that started with the same letter and sound as our letter of the week. We then glued these pictures to the blank pages of our book and printed the word under the picture.. This allowed us to reinforce the recognition of the letter and the sound of the letter. By the end of the week, we often had to add extra blank pages because the children were so into the fun of searching out those pictures that matched the letter of the week. The booklet proved to be so valuable and became dog-eared from all the use.

Teaching phonics to your child only takes a commitment of time and a bit of creativity. Searching for phonics lessons plans will take some time, yes, but believe me when you hear your child begin to put sounds together and then begin to read you will realize it was time very well spent.

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Letha Lashley has spent her life in the nursing and health field and is currently the director of nursing at a metro hospital. Letha and her husband were always involved with their children's education and when their kids were mid elementary level they decided to take full control of their children's education and began homeschooling their two kids. Please visit http://www.homeschool-curriculum-4u.com for more of Letha's great articles on teaching your children.

Using the Camera for Learning and Creativity With Children

Photography is easily recognizable as an art form and a creative outlet for many whether professional or amateur. With a digital camera, the ability to allow inexperienced children to begin their experimentation with photography without the cost concern associated with film and developing is an even greater opportunity. Childhood experience with photography can promote creativity and provide a wonderful tool for learning in general.

Certainly, working with a child to understand the operation of a simple digital camera is necessary before beginning but the possibilities to stimulate imagination, story telling, interest in topics such as history, geography, nature, and sciences among others are endless.

The following are just a few examples of some of the activities with a camera that can get children started on a life time of study, a hobby of interest, or simply an enthusiasm to explore and learn.

A Project for Younger Siblings

Many children enjoy creating projects for younger children, perhaps it is the desire in all of us to mentor. Identifying items that have the various letters of the alphabet in them, photographing them, and producing an alphabet book for a younger sibling just beginning to read is an example of such a project.

To further stimulate imagination, the development of a story book is another possibility. As an example, using the family dog, the child photographer could take various pictures of the pet and devise a short story around "The Life and Times of Fido", "Fido's Big Adventure", or whatever title is appropriate.

A Travel Diary

Like adults, children can use a camera to keep their own photo journal of any travels; whether to grandma's house or to the beach a record of memories is certainly a treasure.

To expand on the travel diary concept and broaden the interest in travel and geography, the child might fabricate a cardboard character to travel even further. By giving the cardboard character to friends and relatives who may be traveling, the character can tag along and be photographed in additional locations. Each travel escort should return any pictures taken with a written paragraph about the journey and location. Over time a rather extensive travel diary, far beyond what the child will personally experience, will form.

The Nature Experience

Developing an interest in science and nature is easy when a camera can provide the focus. Rather than collecting live insects, leaves, rocks, or flowers; photographs can do the job while providing a more permanent archive. The camera also allows collecting of items that would otherwise be impossible; animals, sunsets, waterfalls, footprints, or whatever captures the observant eye of a child.

Beyond collection, photography allows the study of some of the processes of nature. One example is to capture the progression of growth of a plant or animal with a camera. Whether planting a seed in a glass bowl and capturing its germination, rooting, sprouting, and growth or simply photographing a new kitten each week, the catalog of development helps to focus attention as well as potentially develop an interest in science.

Biographies, Family Trees, News Stories, and Documentaries

Challenging school age children to develop a family album complete with a short biography of each family member can stimulate creativity and allow an outlet for their sense of humor as well. Using a camera, some children even willingly accept the role as the family recorder of all special events with others making contributions as needed. A sense of responsibility can foster the desire to excel in their photographic efforts!

Another option for school age children which is a great summer project is to develop a monthly newspaper complete with pictures. The creative options are unlimited; from reporting on recent events in the neighborhood, the family vacation, the latest crime by the family dog, or updates on current or upcoming extracurricular activities can be among the articles accompanied by an appropriate photograph.

Stimulating Creative Writing or Story Telling

Stories can be formed by words, pictures, or both. Armed with a simple camera, a child can put together a sequence of pictures to tell a story; can a family member or younger sibling tell the story without the story being told in words? This type of activity is great for children who have an interest in doing projects for younger siblings.

Another activity to stimulate reading comprehension is to provide the child with a short story and ask them to illustrate the story with a few photographs using props.

Certainly, these activities represent only a very small number of the possibilities to use a camera in developing and expanding interests, fostering learning, and providing a sense of achievement for youngsters. With a little imagination, the camera can open up a whole world to the curious mind and eye of a child.

Author Resource Box

Christine Peppler is the webmaster of homemedias.info, an online home electronics store. Visit the site to learn more about a digital camera, camcorder, television or other electronics.

What Should You Do If Your Child Has A Dental Problem?

This article describes some common problems parents can expect with their children's teeth and some tips on how to be prepared and what to do about them when they happen.

Dental problems range in their degree of seriousness. The following tips can prove helpful:

Dental problems in children could be hereditary. Regular brushing and flossing may not be enough to prevent serious cavities. Consult your dentist to correct the problem while your child is young.

Heredity affects hardness of enamel, size, and shape of teeth and jaws. Problems may require dental restorations or orthodontic intervention.

Children now do not always have to wear painful braces and metal wires to correct irregular teeth. There are various dental corrective appliances available in plastic. Dentists now advise dental corrections at a young age.

It is now easy to fill dental cavities. Dentists have more choices for filling teeth. Materials for filling teeth include composite resins rather than the traditional silver-mercury alloy. Composite resins are bonded and hence, fillings do not have the tendency to pop out. Resins are available in a range of tooth colors.

Dentists prefer using stainless steel and/or plastic crowns to cover teeth in case of malformation of baby teeth, fracture, or extensive decay. This maintains tooth form and position for optimal jaw development.

If your child is into sports, encourage your child to wear mouth guards to help prevent injuries.

You should schedule regular meetings with your dentist to make your child comfortable with dental visits. Practice good dental habits like regular brushing and flossing to prevent major dental problems. Also, limit the intake of sugary and sticky foods for your children, as these affect dental health immensely.

What Should You Do in Case of a Dental Emergency?

Dental emergencies can occur anytime and hence, being prepared beforehand is essential and helpful. Always keep all contact numbers of your dentist in a handy place so that it is easy to contact them in an emergency. Common dental emergencies in children include chipped teeth due to accident and teeth knocked out or loosened due to trauma.

If a traumatic incident occurs, knocking your child’s tooth out or just causing a loosening or mobility, contact dentist immediately within an hour, if possible. The dentist can re-implant the tooth and save it. Until then, rinse tooth in water (distilled if possible) without touching tooth root.

You can try to place tooth back into socket and secure it with a wet wrap. If this is not possible, preserve tooth in a cup of milk or saliva until you meet the dentist.

If your child feels pain due to a chipped tooth, it indicates possible injury or exposure of the tooth nerve. Meet with your dentist as soon as possible for evaluation for possible root canal treatment or similar measures to save tooth. Your dentist may treat the tooth temporarily and later fix a bonded restoration to make up for the chipped tooth. If there is no pain, set an appointment with your dentist and meet them at the earliest convenient time. The emergency is not as pressing, but future nerve damage cannot be ruled out until the dentist examines the injury even if there is no immediate pain.

If your child is into sports, ask him to use protective mouth guards. These plastic guards protect teeth as well as the lips, gums, and cheeks. Semi-formable mouth guards available at sports shops require boiling to give a perfect fit. Dentists also make mouth guards with molds that fit in snugly.

Dental emergencies can occur due to severe toothache arising from dental cavities, infections, food stuck between teeth, and broken fillings. Rinse your child’s mouth every hour with warm water. Clean affected tooth area with toothbrush and floss thoroughly. Use toothpick to dislodge any food material stuck in between teeth. Use an ice pack on affected area to relieve pain. Refrain from placing aspirin on child’s gum, as it could cause aspirin burn. If there is any swelling around eyes or cheeks, place ice pack. Ice packs should only be left in place for ten minutes at a time, then removed for ten minutes. Then repeat the cycle. Take your child to a dentist immediately.

If you have small children, keep your home safe and free of furniture with sharp edges and corners as much as possible. Toddlers often suffer dental injuries while they are learning to stand. Children sometimes injure their teeth while ramming into water fountains while drinking water. Accidental bumping into each other could cause teeth injuries in children.

Learn more about children's dental health from Dr. Steven J Brazis DDS. Look for his book, "Your Children's Teeth: A Parent's Guide To Dental Health at: Your Children's Teeth Contact Dr. Brazis at: Toothhaven.com

Child-friendly Safari Vacations

The South African Kalahari Desert offers the ideal child-friendly destination for South African Safari Family Vacations in enchanting settings surrounded by luxurious conveniences.

There is a place in the South African Desert where families can enjoy the ultimate child-friendly safari experience. The Kalahari Desert is a paradise that offers families a luxury safari experience for both children and their parents.

American Express recently revealed that after having conducted a survey amongst it’s platinum card-holders, that more than ninety percent most often travel with their children. This new breed of worldly traveler—aged 15 and younger—is accustomed to fine food and designer labels, just like their parents.

While an African Safari vacation appeals to many international travelers, the up-market traveler yearns for a Safari experience that can offer a family a safari vacation that is an embodiment of luxurious comfort and personalized service. This up-market traveler is enticed by resorts that can offer superb quality; that offer assurance of the finest settings and top-quality vacation experiences.

To establish this level of extravagance and lavishness is often easily attainable and there are an abundance of resorts to choose from throughout South Africa. The more demanding challenge however is to discover a luxury safari resort that is also child-friendly.

Unfortunately there are many exclusive and luxurious South African Safari resorts that do not welcome children. When children are permitted to visit the reserves, they often forget how important it is to cater for children. They may not have kid’s menus and their idea of accommodating children often means that they sleep on the corner couch. A child-friendly Safari resort should offer a place where children can feel stimulated, happy and above all, at home.

Another essential consideration when planning an African family safari vacation is to ensure that the game reserve is in a malaria-free area and where there is no need to worry about preventative malaria medication for the parents or the little ones.

Family vacations will never be the same after visiting the Kalahari Desert. Released from the cooped up confines of urban environments, boys and girls will relish in the delight of open spaces of the African bush; sliding down the red sand dunes, coming into contact with wild animals on the game drives or on horseback safaris, and being able to meet their friends from Meerkat Manor in real life. And while the children enjoy these new South African Safari experiences, parents are free to relax, knowing that their children are safe, cared for and entertained - while they can kick back and enjoy a truly carefree vacation, maybe do a little stargazing together at night and take a stroll along the Milky Way. With the night-time air so clear and so black in the middle of the Kalahari Desert, stargazing is a truly special and unique bonding experience.

The Kalahari Reserve is also renowned as an excellent place for bird watching with more than 200 species of birds some of them indigenous to the arid zone, found in the varying habitats of the reserve. Raptors and in particular, vultures, are very well represented. The most abundant species are the white-backed vulture and the lappet-faced vulture.

A special treat for children is a hot air balloon ride across the skies looking down on the red desert sand dunes and vast African planes. Of course the most popular activity at an African safari is game watching from the private game viewing vehicle or by horseback trails. A guided walk with an experienced game ranger provides and educational and entertaining experience for the children.

While the children are entertained, the adult can enjoy superior facilities such as the tantalizing tastes of African cuisine and fine wines, a private chef and a luxury spa treatment. Even the youngsters deserve a little pampering after a hard and dusty day of game watching and playing under the African sun.

The Tswalu Kalahari Reserve offers a unique child-friendly safari vacations and is the ideal luxury resort for the entire family. Visit http://www.tswalu.com to book your Safari experience.

How Sandwiched Boomers Can Love Their Kidults By Letting Go

Would you consider the possibility that you are the kind of parent who is loving, but still hovering over your emerging adult children? Commonly referred to as Helicopter Parents, this phenomenon is comically described in the movie "Because I Said So." Diane Keaton, starring as the fast approaching 60 year old Mother of three adult daughters, continues her overbearing behavior despite their objections.

Typically raising fewer children today, Sandwiched Boomers have actively pursued an only-the-best policy from infancy on. So far, the twenty-something progeny of Helicopter Parents have reaped the benefits from some of these advantages. Record numbers are attending college and the rate of teen pregnancy is down.

So what's the beef? The question is where Sandwiched Boomers should draw the line: between support and intrusion, encouragement and control, cheering from the sidelines or meddling in the game? Here are some tips to start you thinking about this fine line in the relationship with your kidults.

1.Giving up old habits of micromanaging is hard. When you watch, worry and hang on, you’re giving your emerging adult children the message that you don’t trust that they can be on their own.

2.Today’s technology makes it almost too easy to stay connected. Establish a middle ground where you don’t enable your adult children to remain overly dependent, yet they know you’re there if they really need you.

3.Being too directive - about college applications, class registration, roommate disputes, job searches, dating partners - fosters reliance on you at a time when developing decision making skills is paramount to building self esteem.

4.While financial assistance for the necessities is a parent’s responsibility, it can have a pampering and hampering effect. Beginning in high school, encourage your children to get a part-time job and gain budgeting experience. Your goal is to prepare them to live alone. If they’re unable to manage, boomeranging back home becomes the only option and the whole family pays a price.

5.Remember what it was like for you growing up? How did you use your personal strengths and become more self sufficient? Put some of these good ideas to work. Mentor your growing children but be sure to also let them learn for themselves.

Watching your children approach adulthood is a bittersweet experience, as you see your carefully crafted and longstanding identity slip away. As your family matures, you are faced with the challenges that come with letting go and beginning again in a new role.

After 20 years as a stay-at-home mom, Melanie was looking for work she could feel excited about. “I know I am beginning to plant the seeds of change. I am delighting in my separate life and listening to my inner voice. Until now I’ve been a helpmate and mothering has been my job. Now I’m looking for a career.” Like Melanie, it may help to look at this transition in a different light, as you reignite old dreams and generate new passions for yourself.

© 2007, Her Mentor Center

About the Author: Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. & Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. are co-founders of http://www.HermentorCenter.com, a website dedicated to the issues of mid-life women and http://www.NourishingRelationships.Blogspot.com, a Blog for the Sandwich Generation. They are authors of a forthcoming book about Baby Boomer women and their family relationships and publish a free Newsletter, Stepping Stones, through the website. As psychotherapists, they have a combined 40 years of private practice experience.

Parental Control - You

There is a lot of talk going around about all the different ways that you can keep your kid from wandering into chat rooms, viewing adult sites, watching R rated TV programs and just about everything else that you want to keep your kid from. But studies show that the best parental control to keep your kids out of trouble is you.

This may not be very popular with parents who feel they don't have the time or shouldn't have to watch over their kids 24/7, but in the old days, that's how things were done. True, we didn't have the Internet, we didn't have cable TV with all its nudity and violence and we didn't have pornography just a click away, but kids were still kids and there were plenty of ways for them to get into trouble. And the principals that applied then apply now as well.

The experts in this area recommend the following simple things to keep your kids from getting into things that you just don't want them to get into. Again, these are experts' views and not necessarily the views of this writer. We're only reporting what the professionals say.

For TV it's still the same as it was years ago. For starters, kids don't get their own TV in their rooms. They want to watch something, they come into the living room or recreation room or wherever the TV is located and watch there with the rest of the family. Then, whatever it is your kid is watching, you as the parent make sure you monitor the program. If you're concerned with your kid turning on a pay station then simply don't have them in the house. We need to set examples for our kids. We can't do that if we're spending our time watching sex and violence ourselves.

Also, make sure you have designated viewing times. Most adult oriented material is shown after prime time begins. You may want to cut off the time your child can watch TV at around 10 PM. Earlier if your child is very young.

As for the Internet, this becomes a bit more of a problem because sex and violence are there 24/7. In the case of the Internet though it's really no different from the TV. No computer access in the child's room. The child uses the same computer as everyone else in the house, preferably in an open area where a parent can easily see what the child is viewing. Make your child aware of what is out there and tell him so he understands that he's to go nowhere near these sites. Explain to him that it is very easy to check if he has been to a racist or porn site and the punishment for doing so will be severe. Again, you need to set an example for your child. If you're going to know whether or not he has been to these sites, which you can easily check with your computer's history, then you as the parent have to make sure that you are also nowhere near them.

Many may find the experts' advice on this matter harsh and unreasonable, but they all unanimously agree that the problem with kids doing what they're not supposed to do starts at home.

It's the way it always was and it's the way it will always be.

He Your Independent guide to Parental Control

Child Care Lounge To Host Online CDA Chat

Child Care Lounge, an online resource for early childhood professionals, will host a discussion about earning the CDA credential during an online chat on Wednesday, February 20, 2008 at 8:30PM EST.

Joining Child Care Lounge for the live chat is CDA Trainer and Advisor Debra Pierce, a registered CDA Council Representative and associate professor at Ivy Tech Community College of Indiana. Since 1995, Ms. Pierce has hosted a website devoted to CDA Candidates needing assistance, www.easycda.com.

Anyone interested in attending this chat and discovering more about what is involved in the CDA process, can learn more at www.childcarelounge.com/CDAchat.htm

Early Childhood providers who wish to meet the training requirement for their CDA or CDA renewal may visit the Child Care Lounge website, www.childcarelounge.com. On the website, registered students have 24-hour-a-day access to a comprehensive catalog of courses that are offered in Partnership with SmartHorizons™.

About Child Care Lounge:
Child Care Lounge offers many resources for people who care for young children. Specifically targeted towards caregivers, the Child Care Lounge website offers a large amount of ideas for early childhood programs. Since 2005, the popular website has offered a large variety of convenient and affordable online classes that child care providers may use as continuing education hours in their state. Classes are all taught by Joni Levine, M.Ed., founder of the website.

Use Feng Shui To Help Your Children With Learning, Health And Sleep

There is no doubt that raising children requires a lot of the life aspects that Feng Shui advocates and encourages. You need wisdom, prosperity, and definitely serenity to successfully get the little tikes to adulthood. Of course, Feng Shui and children go hand in hand as the little ones need encouragement in all of the life elements as well. It is a tremendous benefit to young minds and hearts to start out life with a healthy dose of harmony. Parents have found success with Feng Shui in aiding their children with sleeping issues, health concerns, and educational obstacles. Arranging their homes and bedrooms to reflect the ancient philosophy is a good start to a peaceful, prosperous road.

The Chinese culture places a huge emphasis on the importance of education. The way your child’s study area is laid out will make an enormous impact on how well they perform in school and types of grades they make. The child’s desk should sit facing the doorway of the room. If a child’s back is to the door, the positive energy will have a harder time reaching the little one. A good way to activate positive chi in a study environment is to place a crystal sphere in the main window of the room. While the crystal in the window is excellent, you don’t want to place the child’s seat in front of the window. This is very distracting and their schoolwork will suffer for it. Keep any sharp objects or even pictures of sharp objects out of the study area. They symbolize negative chi and your child certainly doesn’t need that while trying to learn. Implementing these Feng Shui and children educational practices can make a big difference in the wisdom life element.

Next to a child’s study space, their bedrooms are where kids spend most of their time. It is important for this area to be arranged in the Feng Shui tradition as well. Your first step should be to eliminate any clutter in the room. It’s not funny. Seriously, work with your child to arrange their things in their room without the presence of treasures and trash all over the place. The balance created in their room will improve the overall relationships within the family. Make sure you don’t overlook that handy space under the beds. If there is a lot of stuff crammed in there the positive energy can become stuck and unable to assist the child.

Where the little one’s bed is placed is important as well. The head of the bed should be placed on a solid wall. There shouldn’t be a doorway or window on the same wall. This is to stop chi from flowing out the window or door. Another useful hint is to place the bed so that a person has room to walk on either side of it. It shouldn’t be placed with the side to help with the balance of the child’s life. Once again, it is vital for good energy to have the room to effectively flow throughout the room. As far as other potential bedroom décor goes, you will want to keep mirrors out of the room. If the child needs to see his or herself, they can always look in the bathroom.

There are other aspects of a child’s bedroom that need to be addressed as well. In our Information Age, it is common practice for electronic devices to be all over the house. In a child’s bedroom, these devices need to be used carefully. The electromagnetic frequencies put off by electronics are harmful to sleep patterns and can increase moodiness and aggression. To limit these effects make sure any computer monitor, alarm clock, and lamp is placed three to five feet away from the child. Feng Shui and children are both natural things. These electronic inferences should be avoided whenever possible.

Other décor comes into play in the Feng Shui and children combination. Parents should help their kids choose the wall color in their bedrooms carefully. Bold, loud colors aren’t good for a restful environment. It may be necessary to compromise and use a muted, relaxed version of their favorite color. Younger children will benefit from images that are non violent and non-threatening. Cute animals and favorite cartoon characters are good choices. Older children should be instructed to limit the number of posters they have on their walls that depict negative images of any kind. A child of any age will feel a part of the family when they are alone with the addition of a family photo placed near their beds.

Using Feng Shui and children’s natural inclination towards relaxation and serenity is a wonderful way to give your kids a solid, balanced start in life. Remember that the use of color, furniture placement, and décor choices are important factors that need to be considered when arranging a child’s living space.


About the Author: Candace Czarny, ASID,CFM, LEED AP, "Award Winning" Interior Designer Feng Shui Expert http://www.ArtOfPlacement.com is continually ranked "Top 10" in Google and Yahoo. Clients testify of dramatic results!

What Parents Should Know About Teens And Teasing At School

Judy S. Freedman’s book "Easing the Teasing" is very helpful for dealing with children’s teasing issues. It specifically helps parents learn strategies to help their children deal with teasing. Some of the suggested strategies can also be used successfully with teens so it’s definitely a recommended title for parents and educators to peruse. This article is not going to describe the strategies so well explained by Freedman. The goal of this article is to impress on parents the reality of teasing in our school system and how schools in general undertake to deal with discipline and behavior management issues. From this understanding it is hoped that parents will be are more able to work collaboratively with their teen and school personnel should a problem arise.

Due to the differing sizes of elementary and secondary schools, it can generally be asserted that during the elementary school years there is more of a ‘handle’ on teasing than in secondary schools. That is certainly not to say that secondary schools are ignoring the problem. For example, secondary schools may have home room teachers discuss such topics with students; there may be the occasional guest speaker such as a police liaison who addresses the students on this or a similar topic and, faculty are surely expected to reinforce standards of appropriate behavior. Administrative personnel at many schools use an electronic system to track inappropriate student behavior - usually serious incidents. Grade-level meetings are also commonly scheduled to discuss student achievement, work habits and if relevant to the former, behavior. The main challenge in most secondary schools however, is that each teacher typically instructs over a hundred students daily so it’s understandably difficult to monitor, document and discuss student behavior with colleagues on a consistent basis.

Parents who notice a sudden change in their teen’s behavior should consider contacting the school counselor and home room teacher to investigate whether or not the student is having trouble at school. It is important to note that even if a student consistently earns good grades, all may not be going well for the young scholar; they may have other challenges at school. Because teens might try to hide a problem with teasing, parents need to be extremely vigilant in their observation, listening and conversation. Teasing is hurtful and potentially dangerous. It is a form of bullying. Low self-esteem, depression, eating disorders and in the extreme, teen suicide are possible results. Experiencing harassment in this form – whether it is done ‘playfully’ or maliciously, is clearly a serious problem that must be dealt with.

If you want to know anything about schools, click on to www.yschools.com and find answers with your host, She. You can find everything from public, private, Catholic schools, distance learning, curriculums and business to computer, culinary schools and much more. Visit www.yschools.com

How To Select The Right Shoes For Your Children

Picking the right shoes for your kid is not easy. If you are about to buy shoes, you must ask 3 particular questions before buying. They are the following:

1. How does it fit?
2. How is it made?
3. Is the shoe appropriate for your kid's age?

Let's analyze every single question a bit more thoroughly.

1. How does it fit? - When you ask this, you must take into account the length, width and depth of the shoe and check this carefully once the shoe is fitting your child's foot. If you pick a shoe that is ill fitting, you may harm your child's feet. Your kid can have ingrown toenails, calluses and bunions. Also, try checking your child's 'growth spurts' because when kids grow, their feet grow too. It is advisable to buy new shoes for your child every 3 to 4 months, because it will keep the fit suitable for their feet. Bear in mind that shoes really needn't to be "broken in". When a shoe is not comfortable from the start, it means that is definitely not the right shoe for your kid.

2. How is it made? - Four distinctive parts form every shoe: upper part, insole, outer sole and heel. Children are usually quite active, so it is advisable that the upper part of the shoe is made of a strong but breathable material such as canvas or leather. (Try avoiding shoes that are made of plastic, especially at young ages!). Try picking a shoe which insole is made from an absorbent material. It is not actually necessary to have padded insoles or special arch support insoles at this age. The outer sole has to give flexibility, traction and cushioning to the shoe, but it shouldn't be bulky or sticky when your kid walks. Bulky, sticky outer soles can lead to unnecessary injury by making your child clumsy. Also, heels aren't really necessary at this age at all! Try picking shoes with flat soles; it will make it much easier for your kid to walk.

3. Is the shoe appropriate for your kid's age? - A pre-walking kid doesn't actually need shoes. Their feet just need footies and warm socks; they can even walk barefoot indoors. If you have a toddler and he is just learning to walk, he should wear shoes that have a smooth sole and a high top. Also, it must be made from materials that are light and breathable. These kinds of shoes stay on better and help avoiding falls. If you have a school-age kid, there is a great assortment of suitable shoes, such as tennis shoes, sandals and even hiking boots. If you have an older child, you just have to follow the first two questions and pick the best shoes for your kid.

With many years in the footwear industry, Sintilia Miecevole learned just how much people love shoes! A vast source of information is now available on her new site www.rexshoes.com complete with everything from shoes, runners, boots and sandals to shoe stores. Be sure to visit www.rexshoes.com to find your footwear.

Are You Letting Your Children Manipulate You?

“When Nathan is with David (her husband), he’s fine. He adores David and listens well to him. When he’s with Amalia (her housekeeper), he’s fine. He loves her and plays calmly with her. But when he’s with me, he’s impossible. He throws temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. He goes to sleep easily at night for David but not for me. I want so much to be a good mother and I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong. I never get angry with him but sometimes I feel like throwing him across the room! I need help!”

“Rachael, when you are with Nathan, what do you think is more important to you – to get him to love you or to be loving to yourself?”

Rachael replied instantly. “To get him to love me. I never think about loving myself. I just want him to love me. If he loves me, then I know that I’m a good mother.”

“And what does it say about you if you are a good mother?”

“It means that I’m okay,”

“So you have handed to Nathan the job of defining your worth. He has to love you for you to be okay. What do you think is most important to David?”

“Oh, David takes good care of himself. He really doesn’t seem concerned about whether or not Nathan loves him. He’s very loving to Nathan, but if David wants to eat dinner when Nathan want to play with him, he just eat dinner and Nathan seems to accept it. If I want to have my breakfast when Nathan wants to play, Nathan has a tantrum.”

“Rachael, Nathan has learned that he can manipulate you because you are so concerned with how he feels about you. As long as his loving you is more important to you than taking loving care of yourself, he will be able to manipulate you. This is not good for him or for you. It is too big a burden on him to have the responsibility of defining your worth. As long as your worth is attached to being a good mother, Nathan will be able to manipulate you.”

“I can see that. Amalia is like David. If she has work to do, she just expects Nathan to play by himself, and he does. She loves him, but she is firm about what she needs to do. I can see that I give in all the time because I don’t want him to be upset with me. What can I do now to change this?”

“First of all, you need to consciously detach your worth from being a good mother. You need to do some inner work on defining your worth separately from being a mother. Your sense of worth needs to be attached to who you are – your kindness, compassion, empathy, warmth, aliveness. You need to take responsibility for defining your own worth rather than making Nathan, David, or anyone else responsible.

“Second, you need to care about taking care of yourself as much as you care about taking care of Nathan. Nathan is a brat with you because you don’t care about yourself when you are with him, so he has learned to not care about you. You are teaching him not to care about you when you do not care about yourself.”

“Okay, I think I get this. I’m really going to try to do it differently.”

Next week when we spoke in our phone session, Rachael reported that things had already dramatically changed. Nathan was listening to her, going right to sleep when she put him down, and seemed happier in general. His tantrums had not yet completely stopped, but they were far fewer. Rachael, too, felt happier because she was finally taking care of herself and her own needs. For the first time since giving birth to Nathan, she was having some time to herself.

She is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com.

How To Find Out If Your Child Is Doing Drugs - Home Drug Testing Kits

1. Why Home Drug Testing?

Looking at it from an objective point of view, home drug-testing provides a lot of advantages for people who value their privacy among other things. It is also cheaper to buy a do-it-yourself drug testing kit than to go to a drug testing facility and have the examination there. It is less hassle and less worry on your part. It provides anonimity that keeps the sense of privacy surrounding your family intact.

2. Choose Wisely

There are a lot of do-it-yourself drug test kits available in the market today. Some examples of these tests include: urine tests, blood tests, saliva drug tests, etc. By knowing beforehand what kind of test you are pondering to take, you will save on your precious time. The most effective type of drug testing kit is actually the hair testing kit. This can tell you not only if your child has drugs in their system at the time of the test, but over the entirety of the past four months as well!

3. What Can Drug Tests Detect?

- Amphetamines
- Barbiturates
- Cocaine
- Marijuana
- Methamphetamines
- Opiates

These multi-drug tests are very handy as they will screen your loved ones for a wide range of drugs, not just Marijuana. You no longer need to buy a single tester for every type of drug that you fear your children might using. These pose savings for you and again, less hassle.

4. Talk Openly With Your Children

It is critical that you talk openly with your children during the testing process. Let them know that you are doing this because you care so much about them. If you are especially quiet, you can perform a drug test on your child or loved one while they are sleeping - simply clip approximately 40 hairs from them approximately one and one-half inches from the base of their root, and this will suffice for the very effective hair drug test kit. Often, children will be rebellious and feel a lack of trust if you bring up the subject of having a drug test conducted. Let them know that regardless of the result, the main objective isn't to make things harder on them, but to simply put your mind at ease.

5. Use The Internet

There are are countless websites and companies that offer home drug-testing kits. Look and compare. Find out if there are reviews for the testing kit you are considering to buy. This will be beneficial on your part since you will be able to learn more about the product you are planning to buy as well as comparisons with other products out in the market. Your choices will increase and you will be able to buy the best the market has to offer.

For more great drug testing kit related articles and resources check out www.drugtestinghub.com

Toddler Skills For Personal Responsibility

1) Children need to be able to fall asleep on their own. Infants and toddlers who are always rocked to sleep, or breastfed or bottle fed to sleep, learn to depend upon others for falling asleep and do not develop their own falling asleep mechanism. This can cause much distress for parents who go through the nightly nightmare of trying to get their infant or toddler to sleep. Instead of always picking up and rocking a crying little one, which only reinforces the child’s dependency on you putting him or her to sleep, try patting the child and then leaving for a few minutes. If you keep coming in, patting your child and reassuring him or her that you are here, eventually your child will stop depending upon you to rock, hold or feed him or her to sleep.

2) Children need to learn very young to play by themselves and amuse themselves. It is not healthy for children to be constantly dependent upon others, or upon the TV, to amuse them. I work with many adults who never learned to “play by themselves.” These adults feel lost when they are alone, having no idea what to do with themselves. Instead of turning to creative or learning opportunities, they may participate in addictions such as eating, drinking, drugs, TV, work, spending, and so on. When children learn to play by themselves at a young age, they tend to be more self-sufficient and creative as adult.

3) Children need to learn how to self-nurture. This means that they need to learn how to take some responsibility for their own feelings. Infants often self-soothe with their blanket, thumb, or pacifier. But as they grow older, they need to learn other ways of self-nurturing because they will not be taking their blanket or pacifier to school.

Even children as young as 2 1/2 years old can learn to attend to their own feelings. You can help your young children start to take responsibility for their feelings by giving them a doll or stuffed animal that represents their emotions. You can tell them that the doll or stuffed animal is the baby inside them that has a lot of different emotions. When they are feeling sad or angry, they can learn to talk to the baby inside and find out what that baby needs from them or from you. As they get older, they can learn to connect their thoughts with their feelings. They can learn that if they judge themselves by telling themselves that they are bad or stupid or ugly, they will feel very badly.

It is vitally important for all of us to connect our thoughts with our feelings. Most of us grew up believing that others caused all our good and painful feelings. If someone yelled at us or told us we were bad or stupid or ugly, we certainly felt badly, and if someone approved of us, we felt good. So we learned to believe that all our feelings are being caused by others. It is important for children to learn that their feelings are also affected by what they tell themselves and how they treat themselves. For example, if an older brother tells his younger brother that he is stupid, the younger child might start to tell himself he is stupid, without realizing that he is causing himself to feel very badly. By talking with his “baby”, he might realize he is treating himself in a way that is hurting him.
He also might also be able to understand that his brother is not telling him the truth. The way he can learn to realize this is by learning to access his “Source of Love and Truth.”

Small children can easily learn to open to a powerful Source of Love and Truth. You can ask them to imagine a wonderful friend, a guardian angel, or a fairy godmother. It is very easy for most children to imagine a wonderful being who is here to love them and guide them. They can be encouraged to ask questions of this loving being, such as “Is it true that I am stupid?” They can learn to bring through true and loving statements to themselves when they open to learning with their spiritual Guidance.

These skills, learned early in life, will do much to foster personal responsibility in our children.

She is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com.

Do You Want Your Children To Be Like You?

Do you avoid responsibility for your own feelings with substances, activities, or with shaming and blaming behavior toward yourself or others? Are you always late and is your desk a mess? Do you eat poorly and lack exercise? Are you always in major credit card debt? Do you lack a relationship with a spiritual source of love and guidance?

If you want your children to be on time, then you need to be on time. If you want your children to be healthy and fit, then you need to be healthy and fit. If you want your children to be honest, then you need to be honest. If you want to raise happy and peaceful children, then you need to role model how to be happy and peaceful. If you want your children to have high self-esteem, then you need to learn to treat yourself and them with kindness and caring. If you treat your children with caring and respect, but your children experience you shaming yourself and treating yourself as if your feelings and needs are not important, there is a good chance they will learn to disrespect themselves as well.

For example, Martin grew up in a family where both of his parents were high achievers and made tons of money. But his mother was a highly judgmental woman and his father was always unhappy and worried about something. Is it any surprise that Martin does well financially, yet is constantly judging himself and others and is often agitated over minor things?

Angie grew up with a mother who was totally devoted to her. In Angie’s mind, her mother was the ideal mother – kind, compassionate, and always ready to listen to Angie and help her with her problems. Her hardworking father was also a kind and caring person. Yet Angie has a hard time taking loving care of herself. She ignores responsibility for her own feelings, does not feed herself well, is often judgmental toward herself, and has a hard time getting things done. She is constantly seeking out a man to fill her up and make her feel worthy. How did this happen with such loving parents?

While Angie’s parents were loving to her, they were not loving to themselves. Angie’s mother used food to avoid her feelings, and was always giving herself up to please others. In addition, she could never quite get organized and was always late. Angie’s father spent his life working hard and using the TV to avoid his feelings. Neither of Angie’s parents role modeled personal responsibility for their physical and emotional health. Angie was shaped far more by how they treated themselves than how they treated her. In fact, because they treated her so lovingly and treated themselves so unlovingly, Angie grew up believing that it was others’ responsibility to love her and fill her, rather than her own responsibility. She grew up being needy and demanding, rather than personally responsible.

Do you want your children to be like you? As a parent, it is very important to take a look at what you are role modeling for your children – not only regarding how you treat others, but how you treat yourself. If there are certain values that you want your children to have when they grow up, they are far more likely to have your values if they deeply respect you. And they will not respect you if you do not treat yourself with respect. It is highly important, if you want your children to be happy, healthy, and personally responsible, to be a role model of happiness, health and personal responsibility.

She is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com.

The Challenges of Single Parenting

Single parents have a far greater challenge - they have to be both mother and father to the child. Mothering energy is that energy that nurtures while fathering energy is that energy that protects in the world - that is, earning money, setting boundaries with others, speaking up for oneself. While our society often defines women as the nurturers and men as the protectors, both men and women are capable of both nurturing and protecting in the world.

In order for a single parent to successfully be both mother and father, he or she must have learned how to be both mother and father to the Child within. In other words, we have to have learned how to nurture our own Inner Child - how to take responsibility for our own fears, pain, anger, hurt, and disappointment, and how to take care of our Inner Child in the world - earn money, set boundaries, and so on. There is no way to successfully teach our children these skills until we are doing them ourselves, which means that each of us needs to be in a process of learning how to do this.

We have developed a process that teaches us how to care for and nurture ourselves, while also loving others. This process, called Inner Bonding, teaches us how to become a loving Adult to our own Inner Child and to our actual children. Inner Bonding is a six-step psychospiritual process that can be learned and practiced daily, and that leads to the development of a spiritually-connected loving inner Adult.

Inner Bonding defines the Inner Child as our core self, who we are when we are born - our natural creativity, intuition, playfulness, imagination, talents, feelings, and ability to love. Our Child is our inner experience. Our Adult is everything we learn after we are born. It is our thoughts, beliefs, and ability to take action. We start learning how to be an Adult from the moment we are born through watching our parents and other caregivers. The Adult we learn to be is a child-adult, the part of us that learned many fears and false beliefs and learned addictive ways, such as using substances, TV, spending, anger, or compliance to avoid pain. A true loving Adult is that part of us that is spiritually connected to a Higher Source of truth and love and is able to bring that truth and love down into the Child and share it with others. The adult many of us operate from most of the time is really a wounded child masquerading as an adult. It is our unhealed wounded self that causes us problems with ourselves and our children. Inner Bonding is a process for healing the wounded self and developing a spiritually-connected loving Adult.

In Inner Bonding, there are only two possible intents at any given moment: the intent to learn about love and the intent to protect against and avoid pain. The intent to learn says that we want to learn about our own pain in order to understand what we need to do to be loving to our Inner Child and others; The intent to protect says that we want to avoid experiencing our pain at all cost. The child-adult is always in the intent to protect and the loving Adult is always in the intent to learn.

The six-steps of Inner Bonding are:

1. The willingness to become aware of our pain rather than protect against it with our various addictions.

2. The conscious decision to move into the intent to learn.

3. Dialoguing with our wounded self to discover the false beliefs and resulting behavior behind the pain. Releasing anger and pain in appropriate ways.

4. Dialoguing with our Higher Power to learn about truth and loving behavior.

5. Taking loving action in behalf or our Inner Child.

6. Evaluating the action.

All parents needs to be in a process of healing themselves. It is particularly important for single parents to be in this process since they are the primary role-models for their children. The more you heal the fears and false beliefs of your wounded self, the more loving you will naturally be with yourself and your children. Learning to utilize these six step throughout the day, especially in times of anger, fear, anxiety and stress, will eventually heal the false beliefs leading to these difficult feelings.

She is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available. margaret@innerbonding.com

Authoritarian Parenting, Permissive Parenting, Or Loving Parenting

Angie was a good girl. She did well in school and did what she was told, but was often sad and lonely and never felt important. When she married and had her own children, she knew that she didn’t want to treat her children the way she had been treated. She wanted to consider their feelings and needs. She wanted them to feel valued and important.

Angie was a very loving mother. She spent lots of time with her children, playing with them, listening to them, and giving them much affection and approval. However, because it was so vital to Angie that her children feel valued and important, she often put herself aside and gave in to their demands. Because Angie had never felt important, it was easy to put herself aside. She actually believed that her children’s feelings and needs were more important than hers. As a result, Angie swung the other way from her own upbringing and became a permissive parent.

The consequences for Angie of authoritarian parenting was that she didn’t value herself. The results for her children of permissive parenting was that her children grew up with entitlement issues, thinking they were more important than others, and often not being caring and respectful toward others.

Neither authoritarian nor permissive parenting is loving parenting. Loving parenting is parenting that values both the parents’ and the children’s feelings and needs. Loving parents do not attempt to control their children – other than in actual situations of health and safety - nor do they allow their children to control them. They do not violate their children with anger, blame, or hitting, nor do they allow their children to violate them. They do not expect their children to give themselves for others, nor do they give themselves up for their children.

Loving parents are parents who deeply value themselves enough to not worry about being rejected by their children. They are willing to set solid limits on unacceptable behavior and are not available to being manipulated by their children. Their identities are not tied into their children’s performance in school or in other activities, such as sports. Nor are their identities tied up in how their children look. They are accepting of who their children are as individuals, even when their children are very different from them. They do not impose their way of being onto their children, yet at the same time they solidly reinforce a value system that includes honesty, integrity, caring, compassion, kindness and empathy.

As much as we want to be loving parents, unless we have done our own inner work to heal our own deep fears of rejection and domination, we will automatically be acting out of these fears without being consciously aware of it. If you grew up with fears of rejection and/or domination, you will automatically protect against these fears in your relationships with your children. You may find yourself trying to control them out of a fear of being controlled or rejected by them. You might be controlling with your anger or with your giving in and giving yourself up. Fears of rejection can manifest with children through trying to control them with anger, or through trying to control their love through giving yourself up to them. Fears of domination can manifest through controlling them with anger or violence to avoid being controlled by them. Insecurities can manifest through attempting to get your children to perform in the way you want in order to define your worth.

In one way or another, whatever is unhealed within you will surface in your behavior with your children. Raising healthy children means first healing the wounded child within you – the part of you that has your fears and insecurities, and your desire to protect against rejection and domination.

Our society has swung back and forth between authoritarian and permissive parenting and the result of both is far less than desirable. We have only to look at the number of people taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs, as well as the number of alcoholics and drug addicts, as well as the rise of crime and the number of people in prisons, to know that neither method works to raise healthy individuals.

Perhaps it is time to accept that we need to be in the process of healing ourselves before becoming parents.

About The Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

margaret@innerbonding.com

She is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available. margaret@innerbonding.com

Are You Addicted To Your Children?

Anything that we use to get love, avoid pain, and fill up inner emptiness can become an addiction – even our children! If your children are your whole life – if you don’t have a strong spiritual connection with a personal source of love and guidance, as well as other relationships and interests that you are passionate about, you might be using your children to fill an empty place within you.

If you don’t have a partner or your relationship with your partner is not fulfilling to you, and you don’t have deeply connected and meaningful friendships, then you might be using your kids as your major emotional connection. If you don’t have hobbies or work that are compelling and fulfilling to you, you might be using your children to give meaning to your life. If you don’t have a daily spiritual practice that brings love and comfort to your soul, you might be using your children to fill this need.

If this is what you are doing, it is not good for your children. It is a huge burden on children to be responsible for their parent’s loneliness and sense of purpose. Children who feel this responsibility often become caretakers, giving themselves up to take care of a parent. On the other hand, a child burdened with this responsibility may rebel and distance from the parent, spending less and less time at home to avoid the burden of the parent’s emptiness.

I grew up as an only child with a mother who had nothing fulfilling in her life – other than me. Her whole focus was on me, and because I couldn’t possibly fill her up in the way she needed to be filled, she was often angry at me. I became a good little girl, a good caretaker of my mother, but the result was that I was a nervous and unhappy child, and wanted to be away from my house as much as possible.

Our children need to be a part of our life, not our whole life. We need to role-model for them what it looks like to take personal responsibility for filling ourselves up. We need to show them what it looks like to take responsibility for making ourselves happy, rather than rely on them for our happiness. Your children want to know that they are important to you, but not so important that your well-being is dependent upon them. You might want to explore the following questions to see if you may be using your children addictively:

* Do you have a solid spiritual practice that fills you with a sense of peace and gives meaning to your life?

* Are you expressing your particular talents in a way that feels meaningful and productive to you and gives you a sense of fulfillment?

* Do you have fulfilling emotional connections with other adults – a partner, other family members or friends?

If you answered “yes” to these, then you are probably not using your children addictively.

* Do you feel bored and useless when your children are not around? Is it your children that give your life meaning?

* Is your sense of worth attached to your children’s achievements? Do you tend to take it personally if one of your children has a problem?

* Are you over-involved in your children’s lives?

* Are you overly sensitive if one of our children is angry or distant? Do you find yourself trying to pacify your children rather than set appropriate limits in order to avoid their rejection?

* Did you choose to have children to share the fullness of your love or did you have children in the hopes of getting love from them?

If you answered “yes” to one or more of these, then there is a good possibility that you are using your children addictively. If this is the case, the best thing you can do for you and your children is to move yourself toward a solid spiritual practice, look for meaningful ways of expressing your talents, and develop emotional connection and support from other adults.

About The Author Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.